Happy holidays, dammit

Yes, it's that time of the year once again when the sphincters of the retailer close up, and those of the conservatives open wide. I'm referring, of course, to the now-annual fretting about Christmas and the "War On Christmas" and how us pagan atheistic liberals just don't understand the True Meaning Of The Holiday yadda yadda blurp blurp flibbety-floo blah blah blah.

Conservatives who, the other 364 days of the year see no problem with greed, aggression, torture, selfishness, hatred, intolerance, and bigotry all of a sudden, rather like Scrooge, advocate warm fuzziness and love for all mankind. People who, if they met Jesus on the street, would turn him into the nearest HiematSekurity office as a "suspicious Middle-Eastern looking man" decide that what he said was really, really, really important and we should all pay attention.

A perfect example of this is this article over at TownHall.com, busily trashing "A Christmas Carol" for being too "pagan":

In fact, Standiford notes that, “Scrooge’s only hope of salvation is to learn the concept of charity.” This alternative gospel is one enamored with Christ’s example, but not enamored with Christ himself. It is a gospel that declares (falsely) that man has the capacity to change himself through education, government assistance, the redistribution of wealth and acts of benevolence. At its root “A Christmas Carol” is fundamentally about spiritual re-birth. The means Dickens presents for that spiritual re-birth, however, could not be more at odds with God’s plan for man’s salvation.

Mind you, this is the same TownHall.com that posts articles defending torture and all but justifying genocide against Muslims, as well as articles by Ann "McVeigh should have blown up the Time-Warner Building" Coulter.

"Peace on Earth, good will toward men" is not an option to them, if it means we can't kill all the evil Islamomarxonazibolshifacists before they convert us all to their false religion and cut all our heads off. There's a lot of folks over there who claim to adhere to Christianity - as long as it doesn't mean they have to deal with liberals, feminists, homosexuals, environmentalists, peaceniks, atheists, pagans, or anyone who isn't as loving and tolerant as they are. Jesus hung out with prostitutes, thieves, the poor, the destitute and the crippled - people I'm sure the TownHall.com folks do everything they can to avoid on their way in to work every day. "Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor"? Why, that's SOCIALISM! Invite "the poor and maimed and blind and lame" to a feast? Why, you can't help those people by giving 'em handouts! "Peace on Earth"? Why, not until all the people who want to kill us all are dead, dead, dead!

And when people try to actually apply Christian principles? They get surveiled by the federal government as potential terrorists.

So, Glenn Beck and Limbaugh and Hewitt and Prager and Hannity and Medved and O'Reilly and whoever else is peeing themselves over insufficient love of Jesus during the holidays - screw you, since you'll just go back to hating everyone who isn't a white hetero conservative on December 26th, the way you do every goddamn year.